Michel's first snow!

lately grammies - May 2013 w/ my love!

Could things be more wonderful? The love of my life has finally arrived and we have no more tearful goodbyes awaiting is in the near future! My heart is so full of joy and gratitude and peace. 

A few happy moments from the past week...

Honey and Michel's first encounter! :)

Adorable little turtles sunbathing on my early morn walk.

  Michel's first Starbucks!

  THIS FACE MAKES ME MELT! 

 A happy happy family.

NYC leopard scarf - new Jcrew pants I got on sale - golden sparkles & Starbucks in hand :)

Open doors & an anniversary.

The past few weeks have been mindblowingly wonderful. It is so easy to forget that EVERYTHING happens for a reason! After what seemed like a series of no's the past few months, I received the best kind of yes! Sometimes closed doors can be the best things for us because it leaves the possibility of bigger more beautiful doors to open. Never give up, keep working hard and have faith, and eventually things will fall into place.

On another note, today is the 1 year anniversary of M and I's engagement! On an even more exciting note, HE WILL BE HERE IN 3 DAYS! This time apart, although SERIOUSLY tough, has really brought us closer. And having to go through so much effort with his visa and us actually being together is a great reminder of how much we truly care and love one another. I remember hearing somewhere about how distance to love is like wind to a flame. If it is a small flame then the wind can easily put the fire out, but if the fire is strong enough it will spread and become even bigger. I find that to be so true.

Other recent thoughts that have crossed my mind recently have to do w/ love and communication. It baffles me how some people neglect to think about how their words and actions affect others, especially those that they love. When we love our friends and family, we care for their feelings, and therefore we should be very conscious of striving to ensure that our words and actions support and lift up their spirit. When this consciousness exists between BOTH individuals, the relationship is able to flourish. We must own our actions and our words and take responsibility for how we impact others. 

(A random photo that makes me smile and may look familiar. It was taken during class in Gulu, Uganda one day when us students were a wee bit bored and melting from the heat.) 

Who Moved My Cheese?!?

Recently I re-read the book Who Moved My Cheese. It is a short and cute little story that teaches a simple, yet valuable, lesson about letting go of fear, and embracing change in both your career/ business life and your personal life. It was all the rage a few years ago, and I find myself going back to it about every year or so.

It is so interesting to think about how often the biggest obstacle standing in our way is our own fears, and how we perceive and deal with change and things we are not so comfortable with. Fear of failure, of being alone, of disappointing others etc., can inhibit our personal success and stand in the way of our happiness and success.

The most wonderful thing about this predicament is that the solution lies in our own hands, as it is all a matter of perception, and that is something we can train ourselves to alter. By no means is this easy, but it all begins with a wonderful thing called reflection. Reflecting makes us aware of how we actually spend our days vs. how we WISH to spend our days, and enables us to figure out what exactly stands in the way of our own happiness and personal growth. I find that these 2 things are very related, as personal growth often leads to > happiness. The next part is figuring out what steps we can take, which although it may make us feel uncomfortable, push us to improve and reach our goals. For me personally, I  consciously force myself to do things I really do not want to do and doubt I will be good at anyways. It never ends up being as scary as I thought it would be, and the best thing is surprising yourself and learning that YOU CAN DO IT, and that the perceived fear was WAY worse than the reality anyways. So, reflection > plan of action > taking teeny risks that force us outside of our comfort zone >change! Make it happen. Take control of your life and your happiness. Because really, think of all the amazing things you would do if you weren't afraid!

                                      

(And if you ever need some encouragement, this image is sure to provide some bright sunshiney inspiration.)

Source for 2nd photo unknown - it was sent to me from a friend and is now the background on my phone :)

Balance.

One thing I love about getting older is learning about myself. My strengths and weaknesses, what I truly value in life, what drives and motivates me during the day, what truly interests me other than what I think I "should" be interested in, and the list goes on an on. One little lesson I've learned is that I thrive on being busy! I crave and long for a vacation, but once it is given to me I need to be active and find things throughout the day to do to keep me from going insane. But, it is all a balancing act. Filling your days with work that challenges and motivates you, can only be sustainable if you balance it with a certain chunk of time during the day to relax, or do something mindless that brings your joy. For me this includes mugs of hot and steamy black tea w/ honey, snuggles with my little puppy, reading a book, good  conversations w/ inspiring people over soy lattes, weekend trips once in a while to DC/B-MORE/NYC since they are close by, and TONS of other wonderful things. Make sure you find a balance between working your booty off and doing thing sweet little relaxing things that bring you joy. Watching TV doesn't count. If it is hard for you to find time try penciling in your planner just 20 mins of pure FUN. Be kind to yourself and make it a priority. You deserve it. 

Few of my favorite pastimes:

(Laughs w/ beautiful people.)

 (Cozy little tea parties.)

(Honey snuggles.)

Leaps of faith.

Sometimes one of the hardest things in life is taking a leap of faith. Change is always hard and it can be so easy to become comfortable in a routine or sense of stability. The problem is that without letting go of what is safe and taking personal risks, we limit our capabilities and opportunities. Change, new circumstances, and new challenges in life, allow growth and progress. What is the point if we remain stagnant? Can we truly find happiness without growth? I find that dreaming big, having faith and believing in yourself no matter the challenges or what others may think = success and happiness. This does not mean that things will come easy, but with hard work, determination, positivity and courage, almost anything is possible. Perception is often reality, so don't limit your opportunities by focusing on your fears of how you could fail. Think about your strengths, where you want to be and all the ways you could get there, and just do it. Have courage, dream big, and fight for those dreams. YOU CAN DO, OR BE, ANYTHING.

10 things.

I came across this on pinterest and loved it. Relationships take work and require constant attention and care. I loved these suggestions, especially number 1's weekly questions: 

Ten Things That Have Made All The Difference

Found at Today's Letters blog

1. Weekly Questions: For the past five years Tim and I have been asking each other the same five questions every Sunday night. These questions have made the biggest difference in how we love and serve one another throughout the week. If you're going to incorporate one of these 10 things into your marriage, we hope it's this one.

2. A Small Metal Box: After reading this story, Tim and I made a pact that each time we made love we would put a dollar in a special metal box and save it for our 50TH anniversary trip to Hawaii. This has surprisingly been a great way for us to creatively pursue intimacy with one another over the years. Our only advice would be to not count the money in your box. Focus on quality, not quantity.

3. Traveling Journal: There is a journal we share that's filled with words that would make you blush. We take turns writing in it, always hiding it for the other to find in an unexpected place. It's been foundduct taped to our shower, in suitcases when traveling, even in the refrigerator behind the Cool Whip. (Pretty sure Husband was trying to tell me something). Overall, this has been a great way for us to verbally affirm and encourage one another.

4. We (try and) Conflict Well: Conflict is inevitable in relationships, but we believe it exists to make us better, not bitter. We try and keep short accounts with one other by sharing our disappointments and hurt feelings. This isn't always easy but it's necessary in maintaining marital oneness. From experience we know there's nothing more damaging to our relationship than harbored bitterness.

5. We Play Together: Husband and I have chosen to be active together. Whether it's tossing the Frisbee, flying our kite, going on walks, participating inadventure races, reading bedtime stories, orbuilding forts in our living room, playing together has helped us find our inner child. It has also reminded me that being active together can be romantic. After all, deep down I know Husband wants me to be his sidekick when it comes to doing "guy things" with him. Realizing this has been critical in helping us stay connected both physically and emotionally.

6. We Pray Together: One of our favorite ways to end the day is by praying together. We pray for our friends, family, and for wisdom in our marriage. Though our prayers are usually not longer than a couple of minutes they have made a huge difference in helping us stay spiritually connected, as well as make us more aware of each others fears and insecurities.

7. We Celebrate Each Other: Husband and I love to make a big deal out ofanniversaries, birthdays,holidays, and even smaller personal accomplishments. We are each other's biggest fans, and finding a thoughtful gift or preparing a special meal can make the biggest difference in helping us feel known, loved, and celebrated.

8. We Don't Do Marriage Alone: Our trusted friends have been incredibly helpful in showing us how to work through some of the bigger issues in our marriage. It wasn't always easy to share these struggles because of our pride and embarrassment, but soon we realized that most couples were struggling with the same things we were. We've learned that isolating only hinders us from truly dealing with our hurts, habits, and hang-ups.

9. The Greatest Gift (Self Work): We realized early on in our marriage that the greatest gift we could give each other was to know ourselves. This meant working through our family of origin junk. We all have it, but so few actually sort through it;Celebrate Recovery helped show us how. It was here that we first learned to attack our problems together, instead of attacking each other about our problems.

10. We Study One Another: Someone once told us that no matter how long you've dated your spouse, the day you get married you're essentially committing your life to a total stranger. This was great advice considering how quickly people change. To say I know Tim fully after 5 yrs of marriage would be a lie. There's so much about him that I don't know about simply because I do not ask. That is why we like tointerview each other regularly. It's amazing the things you can learn about your spouse when you take the time to ask both fun and creative questions.

10b. Dude Time / Girl Time: Sometimes one of the best things we can do for our marriage is to spend time apart. It blesses me when Tim is able to take a trip with his guys because I know they meet certain needs that I can't. Similarly, Tim understands that spending a weekend with my girls is critical to my overall mental health and well being. Don't get me wrong, you guys know how madly in love I am with Mr. Loerke, but sometimes all a girl needs is an uninterrupted weekend with her besties. Guys are no different.

Our ego & inner guide.

I came across these words on this blog today. It made things a little clearer for me:

... our ego speaks loudly while our inner guide is a soft whisper. When we have a fearful and separate thought (i.e. “I’m not good enough,” “I can’t do this,” “She or he does this better than I do”), the reason we believe it is because it speaks louder. We are ignoring our inner guide because it doesn’t speak as loudly. Truth speaks softly because it is certain. Fear speaks loudly because it needs to be loud in order to seem real. The Course says, “Thinking of your thoughts as equals will destroy inner peace.” When you have a separate thought, acknowledge that it is not a loving thought and ask your inner guide to help you see things differently.

(A very special place in Akko where i often reflected on the concepts of self and truth)

2013.

I love love LOVE the idea of a fresh start. A new beginning.  To re-focus, re-prioritize and re-new.

This years resolutions include:

1. More prayer, meditation and yoga.

2. More patience and kindness.

3. To go for more jogs/ walks outside in the sunlight.

4. To not be so hard on myself. To be kinder to myself and not demand perfection.

5. To breathe and let it go.

6. Be productive with my time and do things that enhance my happiness and quality of life.

7. Read more.


2012 has been full of ups and challenges. Hard to believe that last year I was celebrating new years in the little flat I shared with Taraneh in Bourla, Akko.

(New Years Eve last year in Akko)

2012 highlights:

 (Serving in the most precious place in the entire world with my sister)

(Naw Ruz celebration in Haifa with joyous souls)

 (Spending my days with these beautiful beautiful people)

 (Getting engaged to the most wonderful human being)

(Going to Brazil! Being reunited with my love in his hometown. Meeting his friends and family and getting to know his world)

This year has been good to me. And I am so excited for 2013. Bring on the new year!

Last full day in Brazil.

I leave tomorrow and cannot believe it! Ready to go back home and get back in the swing of life but leaving M yet again not knowing for how long we will be apart is not easy - not easy at all. But, it has been such a wonderful, special and meaningful trip that has reminded me once again how blessed and lucky I am - my only regret is not documenting more with pictures and writing in my journal!! 

 Sunscreen war paint at the hot springs/ water park on monday

 I cannot get enough of the deliciousness that is coconut water

 Nina and her bff

Dulce de leche stuffed churro sprinkled with nuts!!

 central market

Love my cappuccino's 

Laughter is infectious.

(i spy so many happy faces).

For the past few months I have spent alot of time thinking about the influence we human beings have on one another. Whether we like it or not, we give off an energy and affect the environment in which we are in. I have noticed so many times, especially at work, how it only takes 1 persons negative outlook to impact the entire group. If one person is feeling tired, angry or upset, it can heavily affect the attitude of people he is surrounded by, and thus the environment and the quality of the work that is being done. I truly think that we must be aware of this capability that we have to deeply impact one another, and as a result, take responsibility for this incredible power that we possess. What a gift it is that by possessing a positive and loving attitude we can bring a smile to the faces surrounding us.  Laughter is infectious, and it is truly wonderful that by causing someone to laugh you can assist in creating a space that is warm, positive and loving. So even if I am having a bad day, I still do my best to smile and laugh with the people I spend time with. Having this approach applies not only when you are with your friends, but also with your co-workers and family as well. An uplifting environment is conducive to building healthy and strong relationships with people as well as a space for work to be done in a more productive and efficient manner.

Gratitude list.

Im a firm believer in gratitude lists. Whenever any of my friends are feeling especially down i advise them to take some time and write a list of all the things they are grateful for. For me, making this list always reminds me how lucky and blessed i am and always manages to put things in perspective for me. Since things have been very hectic lately and i have been feeling a wee bit blue, i decided to take a few minutes and write a quick list.

1. Honey. This little creature has brought so much love in my life. The number of time she makes me laugh out loud because of her sillyness and cuteness is absurd.
2. My cousins. Who feel more like siblings than cousins. I feel so blessed to be so close to all of them. I truly feel like I have life-long sisters.
3. Starbucks.
4. Barnes and nobles.
5. Goucher. The fact that I have been able to attend the school of my dreams is such a blessing. I love everything about my school and am so thankful to my parents for helping me attend my first choice.
6. Being Persian. I love the Persian/ Iranian culture. The music, the language, the social scene... Im so happy and proud to be Persian.
7. Tea.
8. Meeting/ hearing about inspirational people who push and motivate me to follow my dreams and help confirm my faith in humanity.
9. My parents. Such amazing role models. I truly am lucky to have been raised by 2 people who live their lives with the goal to serve and promote love and unity. They are such givers.

Number 2 on my list: Cousins.

 Canada, summer 2007.

Poconos, summer 2007.