Work hard. Let go. And enjoy the ride.

Since graduating college a year and a half ago, I feel as though I have faced challenges and experiences that have been extremely humbling. The reality that life really doesn't work how we expect it to is a hard thing for me to grasp at times. So many complications & unexpected obstacles pop up and threaten to create more distance between us and our dreams. But, I think, the lesson often is to simply try your best, pick yourself up after a fall, and find happiness in every second of life you are given. Work hard. Let go. And enjoy the ride.

Sea wall. Akko, Israel. 

Blessed Unrest.

One of my favourite qoutes, from the book Blessed Unrest -

"There is vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique.... You have to keep open... There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than others."

 Temple Land. Haifa, Israel.

Temple Land. Haifa, Israel. 

10 things.

I came across this on pinterest and loved it. Relationships take work and require constant attention and care. I loved these suggestions, especially number 1's weekly questions: 

Ten Things That Have Made All The Difference

Found at Today's Letters blog

1. Weekly Questions: For the past five years Tim and I have been asking each other the same five questions every Sunday night. These questions have made the biggest difference in how we love and serve one another throughout the week. If you're going to incorporate one of these 10 things into your marriage, we hope it's this one.

2. A Small Metal Box: After reading this story, Tim and I made a pact that each time we made love we would put a dollar in a special metal box and save it for our 50TH anniversary trip to Hawaii. This has surprisingly been a great way for us to creatively pursue intimacy with one another over the years. Our only advice would be to not count the money in your box. Focus on quality, not quantity.

3. Traveling Journal: There is a journal we share that's filled with words that would make you blush. We take turns writing in it, always hiding it for the other to find in an unexpected place. It's been foundduct taped to our shower, in suitcases when traveling, even in the refrigerator behind the Cool Whip. (Pretty sure Husband was trying to tell me something). Overall, this has been a great way for us to verbally affirm and encourage one another.

4. We (try and) Conflict Well: Conflict is inevitable in relationships, but we believe it exists to make us better, not bitter. We try and keep short accounts with one other by sharing our disappointments and hurt feelings. This isn't always easy but it's necessary in maintaining marital oneness. From experience we know there's nothing more damaging to our relationship than harbored bitterness.

5. We Play Together: Husband and I have chosen to be active together. Whether it's tossing the Frisbee, flying our kite, going on walks, participating inadventure races, reading bedtime stories, orbuilding forts in our living room, playing together has helped us find our inner child. It has also reminded me that being active together can be romantic. After all, deep down I know Husband wants me to be his sidekick when it comes to doing "guy things" with him. Realizing this has been critical in helping us stay connected both physically and emotionally.

6. We Pray Together: One of our favorite ways to end the day is by praying together. We pray for our friends, family, and for wisdom in our marriage. Though our prayers are usually not longer than a couple of minutes they have made a huge difference in helping us stay spiritually connected, as well as make us more aware of each others fears and insecurities.

7. We Celebrate Each Other: Husband and I love to make a big deal out ofanniversaries, birthdays,holidays, and even smaller personal accomplishments. We are each other's biggest fans, and finding a thoughtful gift or preparing a special meal can make the biggest difference in helping us feel known, loved, and celebrated.

8. We Don't Do Marriage Alone: Our trusted friends have been incredibly helpful in showing us how to work through some of the bigger issues in our marriage. It wasn't always easy to share these struggles because of our pride and embarrassment, but soon we realized that most couples were struggling with the same things we were. We've learned that isolating only hinders us from truly dealing with our hurts, habits, and hang-ups.

9. The Greatest Gift (Self Work): We realized early on in our marriage that the greatest gift we could give each other was to know ourselves. This meant working through our family of origin junk. We all have it, but so few actually sort through it;Celebrate Recovery helped show us how. It was here that we first learned to attack our problems together, instead of attacking each other about our problems.

10. We Study One Another: Someone once told us that no matter how long you've dated your spouse, the day you get married you're essentially committing your life to a total stranger. This was great advice considering how quickly people change. To say I know Tim fully after 5 yrs of marriage would be a lie. There's so much about him that I don't know about simply because I do not ask. That is why we like tointerview each other regularly. It's amazing the things you can learn about your spouse when you take the time to ask both fun and creative questions.

10b. Dude Time / Girl Time: Sometimes one of the best things we can do for our marriage is to spend time apart. It blesses me when Tim is able to take a trip with his guys because I know they meet certain needs that I can't. Similarly, Tim understands that spending a weekend with my girls is critical to my overall mental health and well being. Don't get me wrong, you guys know how madly in love I am with Mr. Loerke, but sometimes all a girl needs is an uninterrupted weekend with her besties. Guys are no different.

Our ego & inner guide.

I came across these words on this blog today. It made things a little clearer for me:

... our ego speaks loudly while our inner guide is a soft whisper. When we have a fearful and separate thought (i.e. “I’m not good enough,” “I can’t do this,” “She or he does this better than I do”), the reason we believe it is because it speaks louder. We are ignoring our inner guide because it doesn’t speak as loudly. Truth speaks softly because it is certain. Fear speaks loudly because it needs to be loud in order to seem real. The Course says, “Thinking of your thoughts as equals will destroy inner peace.” When you have a separate thought, acknowledge that it is not a loving thought and ask your inner guide to help you see things differently.

(A very special place in Akko where i often reflected on the concepts of self and truth)

Les Miserables & gratitude.

Last night I went to the movies with my friend to see the movie Les Mis. It really blew me away. I spent probably the second half of the movie bawling my eyes out. I left the theatre thinking about how truly precious life is and how I never want to take even a single second of it for granted. It made me feel so much gratitude for the comforts of life we often fail to appreciate or even acknowledge. It also helped me re-connect with this all consuming passion I have inside of me to stand up for what is just. The first minute of the movie made me burn with anger for injustices, pain and suffering that are often inflicted upon innocent people. Often due to economic status, gender, race - persecution in general. It will never be ok and I will never passively accept the injustices that continue to take place in the world I live in and am a part of.

All in all I feel extremely lucky. Grateful. And blessed. I have been given so much. And I plan to fill the precious days given to me with love, happiness, and standing up for what I believe to be just and kind.

(Haifa, Israel 2011. Being able to sit on these special steps at any moment of the day is something I will forever be grateful for.)