More things in April.

1. Honey has the cutest little nose. It melts my heart.
2. Sometimes Honey likes to find  clothes i have lying around and curls up inside of them. This makes me love her even more, if that could even be possible.
2. I have a bad habit of drinking lattes in the evening. For some reason thats the time of day i want them the most. This does not help my problems w/ sleep. Shmello insomnia. When will i ever learn my lesson?
3. My cousin recently pointed out something to me that i had never really thought about. Growing up in Dubai my family celebrated Easter and Christmas more than we do here. I remember sitting on santa's lap as a kid and getting a new Barbie. Also, Christmas decorations were 10 times more serious and beautiful in Dubai than they are here in Maryland.
4. i love being barefoot. Socks make my feet feel trapped & they would rather be free. Another reason why i love summer.
5. I truly enjoy cooking, but hate to follow recipes. I just follow my intuition.
6. I love to leave surprise "i love you" notes for people, and sometimes i wish i would get some in return
7. Its funny how i used to hate it when my food would touch when i was younger, but now i like to mix EVERYTHING together

Trip to Kuwait 2008/2009.

In the winter of 2008/2009 my brother and I went on a short trip to Kuwait to visit my grandma, aunt and cousin. When i was younger my family and I would visit every summer for mini family reunions, but since we moved to the U.S we had not been able to go back because of the price of plane tickets and the short amount of time my parents have off work. It was amazing to me how much Kuwait had changed in a few years. We went to a few malls and hotels that looked ridiculously modern. The change is kind of amazing, but i cant help wishing that things would remain the same. I struggle with the idea that everything is being reconstructed to be newer and more modern. When my grandma and aunt moved out of the building they had lived in for year and years, because the owner was tearing the building down, i couldnt help but feel sad. The whole fam has made so many special memories in that apartment. Many memories w/ my grandpa, Baba Enayat took place in that home too. 

Walking the streets of Fahaheel.

 My fingers and the city.

 My brother and cousin posing in my grandpas old eyeglass shop.

gorgeous outdoor mall.

 Family by the beach on a very windy day.

 Drinking some ridiculously strong arabic coffee.

Burj Khalifa.

Burj Khalifa, tallest building in the world. Dubai, U.A.E, 2010.
I couldnt get the whole building to fit in one pic!

I believe in you.

I often find myself extremely hurt by others because i believe too much in them. When it comes to my friends and family i cant help but think of them in terms of their highest potential. When i see people i love make decisions that i think may hurt them in the future, or that i think dont reflect the true value within them, i find myself disappointed and hurt. This is something i struggle with alot. I wish i could somehow lower my standards or expectations, but this is so hard for me to do because i truly believe in them.

I remind myself that i need to just be supportive and detached, your decision is your decision and i shouldn't let it affect me. I just wish you knew how much i believe in you and the strength that you have within youreself to follow your dreams and reach for the stars. You arent like everybody else. I know this with every fiber in my being. You are so special and sometimes i want to scream that to you at the top of my lungs. Why cant you see yourself the way that i do? Dont hide your true spirit from the world out of fear of how it may be received. Believe in yourself like i believe in you. It pains me that you dont. It truly causes me physical pain to see you make decisions that deprive you of all the things you deserve. I wish i could let it not affect me, but it does. It does because i love you and care for you and want the very best for you. You laugh at me. I think your laughter is a wall. You hide yourself from your inner truth because you are afraid.  Dont hide your true spirit from yourself and the rest of the world. Dont be ashamed to take risks or leave yourself vulnerable, you have the strength not only to endure it all, but to embrace all the challenges you come across. Please believe in yourself the way that i believe in you.

Things in April.

1. Cute little kiddies are everywhere. My friends are getting frustrated w/ me squealing to them about how excited I am to have kids one day.
2. I have fallen in love w/ photography. So glad i signed up for the photo class im in. The several hours it takes to develop film is so worth it when you can see the pictures you took days before appear on the roll. It almost feels like magic.
3. I love the word magic. And magical. And whimsical. It amazes me the power a word can have. Positive and kind words can have such a transformative effect. As can negative, hateful words.
4. My African Drum and Dance class is performing tomorrow night. We have not practiced as much as we should have and i do not feel very prepared.
5. I graduate in less than a month. Too crazy for me to comprehend at the moment so i am choosing not to think about it:).

Gratitude list.

Im a firm believer in gratitude lists. Whenever any of my friends are feeling especially down i advise them to take some time and write a list of all the things they are grateful for. For me, making this list always reminds me how lucky and blessed i am and always manages to put things in perspective for me. Since things have been very hectic lately and i have been feeling a wee bit blue, i decided to take a few minutes and write a quick list.

1. Honey. This little creature has brought so much love in my life. The number of time she makes me laugh out loud because of her sillyness and cuteness is absurd.
2. My cousins. Who feel more like siblings than cousins. I feel so blessed to be so close to all of them. I truly feel like I have life-long sisters.
3. Starbucks.
4. Barnes and nobles.
5. Goucher. The fact that I have been able to attend the school of my dreams is such a blessing. I love everything about my school and am so thankful to my parents for helping me attend my first choice.
6. Being Persian. I love the Persian/ Iranian culture. The music, the language, the social scene... Im so happy and proud to be Persian.
7. Tea.
8. Meeting/ hearing about inspirational people who push and motivate me to follow my dreams and help confirm my faith in humanity.
9. My parents. Such amazing role models. I truly am lucky to have been raised by 2 people who live their lives with the goal to serve and promote love and unity. They are such givers.

Number 2 on my list: Cousins.

 Canada, summer 2007.

Poconos, summer 2007.

Ridvan picnic.

Today was a good day. Things have been incredibly hectic, and are only going to get even crazier the next 3 weeks, and it was nice to have a day off. We went to the annual Ridvan picnic and it was gorgeously sunny and there was lots of beautiful and happy people around. I also decided to bring Honey w/ me and she had tons of fun playing w/ little kiddies who fawned all over her and gave her some too tight hugs and snuggles. I had my first watermelon of the season and  got a little sunburn on my nose and cheeks. Nothing says summer fun like a big hunk of watermelon and a pink nose! 

 Honey bunny looking exhausted after having too much fun.

Shweaty but happy me.

Starbie earth day.

Its kind of rediculous how much i love Starbucks. Then again what i really love is a coffee shop. My perfect afternoon could consist of spending hours at a coffee shop, sipping on a latte or some tea, and enjoying the relaxed atmosphere. I especially LOVE quaint, unique local coffee shops and wish we had more of them around close to where i live.

Anyways, this morning my "everything buddy" M and i celebrated earth day w/ a study date at Starbie! I brought in my own thermie and got a free awake tea :) M and i are "everything buddies" because we are both IR majors and take many of the same classes, we also have the same group friends so we get to see each other all the time :) Last semester we had ALL of our classes together except for one. We also have a glorious tradition of heading to starbie to do hw or study. For some reason our productivity is doubled when we work together at Starbizzle.

What a cutie!

This morn was especially cold so i decided to put on one of my dads sweaters that i stole borrowed from him :) Its a wee bit big but that only makes it more comfy and cozy :)

Out of retirement.

The good weather inspired me when i was getting dressed this morn and i decided to bring this shirt out of retirement. I bought this shirt my senior year of highschool, aka 4 years ago, and i haven't worn it in about 3 years which is kinda crazy since it used to be one of my fav items of clothing. 

And a closeup...

Today is a crazy busy one, but the weekend is almost here! I see the light at the end of the tunnel! Woot woot!

Thermie.

What a gorgy porgy day. I am wearing my black American Apparel skirt today, w/ a cheetah print top, a long necklace and SANDALS :). I am currently sitting at work sipping on some Trader Joes english breakfast tea w/ some honey and milk (the usual) and loving the fact that the window is wide open and sunlight is shining through. Im also ridiculously excited about the fact that i am feeling so much better, and i will soon not have a sore throat, cough and stuffy nose! WOO!

Like my thermie? My brother made it for me for my birthday! He used baby pics of himself to make it :) i LOVE him.

Also, this is how i feel today.

Also, this is how i feel today: 

Rainy gloom.

It is ridiculous how much the weather affects my mood. I am generally a very positive and optimistic person, but my positivity and energy is tripled when the weather is warm and the sun is shining. Sunshine truly makes me happy, giddy and excited about life. On the flip side, the rain is my least favorite thing and i find myself working especially hard to stay positive and uplifted when it is wet, grey and gloomy out.

Dear sky, please stop raining and bring on the SUNSHINEEEEEEEEEEEE. Pretty pleez w/ a cherry on  top?

To my soul sister.

Dear cuzzy face

I love you. Growing up you were always more of a sister to me than a cousin. We did everything together. I remember crying and crying when you weren't able to sleep over because you were too afraid of the crows outside our house. I was devastated when you left Dubai and i really felt like a part of me was missing. You sent me a harry potter postcard when i was in 7th grade and i remember reading it over and over again cuz i missed you so much! Even though we live far away from each now that we are older whenever we get together i always feel like no time had passed since i saw you last. Our personalities are so different from one another, yet there is something deeper within us that we both share. Our outlook on life, love, people & family is so similar and i always feel like you understand me completely, without me having to try and explain myself. When it comes down to it, you really are my sister, my soul sister, and i think i have to end this blog post now because i am beginning to sound like your lover. Haha. i LOVE you M!

Worship.

"all effort & exertion put forth by man from the fullness of his heart is worship, if it is prompted by the highest motives" -Abdu'l-Baha

Detachment.

Lately i have been feeling incredibly anxious and nervous. Not knowing how things will turn out and having no control over something that seems so important to me is driving me crazy. I often try forcing myself not to think, but what ends up happening is that at one point i cant ignore it anymore and it all begins to overwhelm me once again. I know i need detachment. I know whatever happens is what is meant to be but i just find it so hard to let go of something i have dreamt about for so long. I have no control over the situation, so i really need to find a way to let go and live my life in the now. What i really need right now, is detachment and faith in the fact that if the path i take in life isnt exactly how i thought it should be i really will be ok :)

Bangs.

Dear Ayma,

In the future when you are tired of your hair and want a haircut, please do NOT get bangs :).
                    
Love, Ayma.

Omg. Shoes.

OMG. Shoes.

Tears at the airport.

My mom came to visit me during my last week in Rwanda. She came for 2 nights after i finally convinced her to visit. I told her over and over again that i knew that if she didn't visit me during my study abroad there, she would probably never travel to an African country and i really wanted her to experience my home for 4 months of my life. Before I went to the airport to pick her up, my friend Joanna told me that she knew i would cry when i saw my mom. I told her that i definitely wouldn't because i was more excited than anything so there was no reason why i would cry. I never thought i was someone who would cry when finally seeing a loved one after a long period of time. 

Later that day we went to the small Kigali airport to pick my mom up and i remember being outside and searching intently for her among the crowd. When i saw my mom i ran up to her and instantly burst into tears and started sobbing. The past few months had been amazing, but also the toughest and most challenging time of my entire life. Going to East Africa knowing absolutely no one, i ended up often having to rely on myself through the most uncomfortable and difficult situations. The second i hugged my mom i felt this immense sense of relief wash over me. Having her there felt so surreal. Up till then my family life was very separate from my life in Africa. With my mom visiting my two worlds were coming together for 3 days and it was sort of strange but also very special. For 3 days I was so happy and kind of proud to teach my mom about all i had learned, take her to my favourite spots, introduce her to my new friends, show her how to bargain, take public transportation, greet people, tell her which foods she had to eat..etc The whole time i spent with my mom was truly special, but out of all the memories we made i will never forget running up to her at the airport and hugging her after being apart for the longest period of time. Joanna was right, i lost control of my emotions and cried like a baby.

Handz.

Breakfast.

I love breakfast.

And this blog.

Cuz.

Meesh you already cuz.

Nom Nom Nom.

My little human.

I like to document things.

My roomie, who was playing human vs zombies, returned from a successful trip to the dining hall, without being caught by a zombie.

What a courageous woman.

Time and people.

Its crazy how time changes things. Especially your relationship with certain people. You can trust a person with your heart, talk to them every single day, know almost everything about them, and then 2 years later know nothing about them. This is one thing i always have such a hard time with. How can you share your deepest secrets and open up your soul to someone, and then end up avoiding them or acting like strangers when you see one another? You can think you know a person so well, respect them and look up to them, and then a few years down the road look at them in a completely different light.

.