The limitless soul.

The Soul.

It is through the power of the soul that the mind comprehendeth, imagineth and exerteth its influence, whilst the soul is a power that is free. The mind comprehendeth the abstract by the aid of the concrete, but the soul hath limitless manifestations of its own. The mind is circumscribed, the soul limitless. It is by the aid of such senses as those of sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch, that the mind comprehendeth, whereas the soul is free from all agencies. The soul as thou observest, whether it be in sleep or waking, is in motion and ever active.
- Abdu'l-Bahá

Double rainbow.

"Let each morn be better than its eve and each morrow richer than its yesterday."   

-Baha'u'llah

Gratitude and tea.

1. Picture of the sea taken this past Monday, the day before M moved.
2. Today I sat and had tea with N. As I was sipping my tea and gazing out the window at the green and lush garden outside and the bright radiant sun I was whisked away to the days I used to spend with my grandparents when I would visit their home in Dubai. I loved spending early mornings having breakfast and sipping tea with them in their cute little garden.
3. The amount of change I have been through in the past few months is crazy. This month is especially full of changes. Full of opportunities for growth and learnings.
4.  My brother will be here in exactly in about 1 month. I cannot wait to squeeze his face.
5. Today was S's last day. Also, MCC did green house and dropped me off home. Yesterday SP joined me for lunch and I got to see S after her month long trip.
6. Everything is perfect. There is absolutely nothing missing in my life. I am filled with so much gratitude.

Yellow flowers.

1. Pictures taken on a very happy day of service with T. I love our random bursts of love, joy and deep gratitude for all that we have been blessed with.
2. S makes the yummiest choco-nana cake (I call it banana bread around him because it gets on his nerves). He also wont stop singing "Ay-ma Banana."
3. On Thursday morning I woke up and went for a walk to the sea wall before work. It takes about 15 minutes to get there. Why did I wait for so long before doing this?
4. On Friday T and I fell asleep sitting up right next to each other. And then after skylight a bird pooped on me for the first time.
5. I feel like I say this all the time, but I truly have never felt as happy, full of love and content as I am this very moment.

Hadar.

Living in Akko means lots and lots of sherut rides to and fro Haifa. This photo was taken this one Sunday as i ended my weekend with lattes and a little shopping in the Hadar w/ Ana joon before i hopped onto a sherut back home.

Detachment.

 Detachment is freedom.

Perfect.

1. Pictures from a November day in Akko with N and M.
2. I have truly never ever felt this happy, this content and this at peace. I wish I could bottle up these moments and save them forever and ever.
3. Akko has a brand new mall. With a candy store. And coffee shop. This is bad news bears for T and I. More specifically, it is bad news for our wallets.
4. Today I accidentally burnt some bread and the fire alarm went off. And then spices fell on my head.
5. Saturday morning I saw a double rainbow in Bahji. As I stood outside to gaze at it I thought to myself that everything was truly perfect. More perfect than I ever thought was possible. My reality is better than my dreams. I am very very blessed and grateful.

Laughter.

My favourite thing to capture in a photograph is laughter. Laughter is honest. I was talking with some friends a few days ago about how pure of an act laughing is. My friend brought up that he finds laughter to be a form of prayer. When we laugh we are so detached from the physical world we live in and our ego. If only we could maintain this sense of detachment every time we prayed. 

1. Riz on a hot summer day in Akka.
2. N during 10-10.
3. Beautiful people at Uri Buri one evening in September.
4. My sister and the pub toils.
5. Ned having tea on one of our first nights together as flatmates.
6. My radiant Palauan friend retelling a story on hillel stairs.

Carrot cake and memories.

Surprise birthday carrot cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. I was distracted and tricked with the L screaming "come on guys the sherut is here!" A thoughtful and beautiful present made up of a notepad, pen and jar. A jar filled with memories. Each piece of paper whisks me off to another time and place I will now have forever.

October 22nd.

It was truly a beautiful day. The people that I have been able to meet have completely transformed the way that i view the world. It is truly powerful the love and unity we instantly  feel towards one another despite our different backgrounds. It is the perfect depiction of the beautiful truth that "the earth is but one country and mankind its citizens.”


The night before T and I went on a little adventure up in the Marcaz. We found a lovely little gathering of food and clothing vendors up and running because of the film festival. There was a lovely cool breeze, twinkling lights and lots of kids our age running around in scarves and boots. I bought some popcorn that we nibbled on as we strolled around and T bought a beautiful gold handmade headband. The atmosphere whisked us back to our college days and we both agreed it was a "magical night." We ended the night with lattes and almond croissants at Gregs. It was crowded, delicious and cozy as we sipped away both of us half-asleep. Everything about that night and the day after was magical.

Bahji days: Happiness is an attitude.

“Happiness is an attitude.  We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong.  The amount of work is the same.”  – Francesca Reigler

Bahji days: Birthday in the Holy Land.

Suyane sleep over. Thursday service with Taraneh 10-8. Gate cleaning with MCC. Michel volunteering with us 3-8. Gardeners break room. Tea, tickles and magic sponging tables. "Surprise” visitors in BVC at 8. Surprise carrot cake hearts with candle outside . Café Razzaz with many beautiful people. Arabic happy birthday song in the cafe as we danced around. Jar filled with memory notes. Sea wall and prayers.

Gulu days.

Sunday February 7 2010. 8:12 am Gulu, Uganda.

I am staying in an apartment with this guy, Julius, who is in his 20’s and his fiancé, Doreen. They are both really busy with work and get home late but they are incredibly sweet! Today was so much better than yesterday when I was extremely homesick! I made friends with this guy George who drives us around! He is 24 and is trying to make enough money to go back to school and study mechanical engineering! The car is a wee bit small and has no a/c (which is really not fun in this ridiculously HOT weather) and getting driven places here is always an adventure! Today when we were driving he ran out of gas so we had to get someone on a “boda boda” (which is the main form of transportation here: motorcycles) to go get us a jerry can filled with petrol. Almost everyone here uses the boda bodas to get around but our program does not allow us to ride on them.

At first it was very difficult to deal with the poverty I am surrounded by and for some reason I felt a very big emotional disconnect and was having trouble processing what I was seeing. But since I have been talking with people and making friends I become more and more touched by the fact that although life here is difficult for many they are still happy, laughing and making the most out of their days. It is especially difficult hearing about how peoples lives have been so affected by the war in Northern Uganda, especially here in Gulu. This region has been in war for 23 years and only since 2006 has this area been safe enough for people to leave IDP (internally displaced people) camps and go back home to live a “normal” life. It really really makes me appreciate how lucky I am NOT to have to suffer through a war and losing people who I love. Thousands (I think 30,000) of children are unaccounted for in this region and have either lost their lives, been abducted by the LRA or have just “disappeared” and it does not seem real to me when I hear stories from people who’s lives have been changed forever because of who knows what? Money? Politics? Revenge? Selfish interest? Another thing I am learning is that all I can do at this point in my life is to learn. For some reason I had this idea that I would be able to “help” but I am realizing who am I really to “help”? what does that even mean? I do think the most important thing right now is for me to just listen and learn through interacting with the people here who each have something to teach me in their own little ways.

Another lake walk

Went on another long walk around the lake w/ the puppster. We saw deer, a fox and almost got attacked by 5 geese protecting their babies. They were furiously hissing at us but Honey didnt get the message and continued barking and jumping at them. I was honestly worried we would be attacked. My pup is so sweet and gentle around people, but when it comes to other animals, she is a downright monster. 

 I played my "happy" playlist on my ipod and couldn't help but smile cheesily as i walked. It was sunny but also raining, and everything looked gorgeous. Life is bootiful.

 Since graduating i have 3 weeks w/ not much to do except for to pack and prepare for Haifa, hence the frequent blog posting :)

Congrats cuzzy!

Congrats to my baby cousin! He just graduated highschool and i am so so proud! You truly are one of the kindest, smartest and mature people i know. I have always been amazed at how understanding and insightful you are. Even though you are 4 years younger than me, we always share deep and meaningful conversations and i truly value and trust your advice. You are brilliant and are going to do amazing things and i am so proud and honored to have a cousin like you. Miss you SO much and wish i could be with you to celebrate.

Graduated.

I still cant believe i graduated from college last week. It feels like I only just graduated highschool! Time truly truly flies by.

 Highschool grad in 2007

College grad in 2011!

I dont look that different but my baby brother has grown up so much! So handsome and "diesel" as he likes to say. Love those faces so much!

Murambi memorial.

This is a journal entry from a visit to Murambi memorial, when i was in Kigali last year. It was truly the most emotional experience i have ever had.

March 23. Tuesday. 11:15 am

 So yesterday was one of the most emotionally powerful days of my entire life. We went to visit the genocide memorial in Murambi.  In 1994 Murambi was being built to be a school and during the genocide many Tutsi’s were told to go and find protection and safety there, when in fact it was only aimed to gather them together in one place in order to massacre them easier. The people who went there went for 2 weeks without food or water before 500,000 people were killed there by Hutus using machetes, hoes, clubs… The memorial is extremely powerful because it is very….raw? Everything is out in the open, nothing is behind a glass case and has descriptions or information alongside it. I am not sure how to adequately express how the museum is set up but basically you go from room to room (they were initially set up to be classrooms or dorms) and in these rooms are tables with rows of completely untouched dead bodies lying there. Some of the skeletons still had clothing on them and there is also a very particular smell you cant help but notice when there. 

When we walked up the hallway and people started entering the rooms with the dead bodies I slowly felt that I was losing control over my emotions. I peeked into the first room and when I saw the skeletons and was able to notice that some of the skeletons were those of small children my body immediately had a strong physical reaction and I knew I was not going to be able to go inside the rooms. I broke down into tears and as I walked down the hallway I was immediately comforted by a woman who worked at the memorial and who was one of the very few survivors of Murambi. It felt so incredibly bizarre that someone who had actually experienced such a horrific event and who had endured so much pain and possibly lost family members was comforting me! But it was at the same time so incredibly inspiring the strength that this woman had to be able to embrace me and console me when it should be me doing that to her! 

After that I spent sometime walking around the school and taking in the amazingly breathtaking view around me of the beautiful Rwandan hills surrounding the buildings and I just couldn’t understand how something so incredibly horrific could take place somewhere so beautiful. The only thing running through my mind was “this makes no sense this makes no sense this makes no sense… I am studying something that makes no sense at all!” One of the survivors there who worked at the memorial was a man who was shot at (you could clearly see the hole the gun shot had left in his head), was thought to be dead and therefore left alone by the killers, and who had lost 5 of his children there. Yet he had the strength to continue on and come back to the site where his life changed forever in order to share with the rest of the world what had happened.

 Right now I am a little frustrated with everything I have written because it in no way describes my experience. I will never ever ever forget witnessing a portion of the aftermath of such a brutal incomprehensible act and will never ever understand how such a large population of a country could ever find the motivation to mudrer their neighbors, doctors, students, patients, teachers, friends and fellow members of humanity. It is something I have not been able to process so I have chosen to, for the time being, focus on the beauty of the strength and hope that so many of the survivors of the genocide, who have lost parents, children, brother and sisters, are able to find within themselves not only in order to move on, but also to forgive others.  

Although part of me was troubled walking around the memorial and felt that it may be disrespectful to those who died to have their bodies out for display, I do think that it speaks the truth of what happened and should be a reminder to each and every person of the consequence of discrimination and disunity between people. Today almost everything in the Rwanda is described in relation to the genocide and it is unbelievable how many lives have been altered and how many people have lost their loved ones and homes. One thing that I kept thinking about after coming back from the memorial was the children of the Hutu refugees we met in the refugee camp in Uganda. When we spoke to the refugees there (many of whom had escaped from prison and could very possibly have committed countless murders during the genocide) they told us that they do not teach the children in the camp about the genocide. They said that this was because they didn’t want them to feel any guilt or blame for being a Hutu. I feel very strongly that speaking the truth, as gruesome and as sad it may be, is completely necessary for the healing of this country, as well as in order to ensure that history never repeats itself. I cannot imagine being a child born and raised in a refugee camp outside of my home country and not understanding why it is I live there and am unable to go back “home”. What happens when these children grow older and then hear about the genocide? I can barely imagine what it must feel to be a child who knows that his father has killed many in his community, possibly even his own schoolmates’ family members. There is so much I just cannot wrap my head around.

Earlier today we also visited the Womens Association which is made up of women who have lost their husbands in the genocide, as well as women who’s husbands are in prison for partaking in the implementation of the genocide. The women explained that at first they found it extremely difficult to look in the eyes of each other (knowing that the other’s husband killed yours, or even knowing that it was your husband that took the life of the other woman’s husband and that you did nothing to prevent it).  Today however their children play together, they work together & laugh together and it truly goes to show that forgiveness is always possible and necessary for a community to heal itself (especially in a country where almost everyone has lost a family member in the genocide or has themselves or their family member committed murder).

Morning lake walk w/ my grandparents

After waking up to this cutsey face below, my grandparents and i took a lovely walk around the lake by our house. It was the perfect way to start the day :)

 Walked by this old Asian lady who was feeding this little guy pieces of egg. She didnt speak any English but was so sweet and smiling radiantly as i took a few pics of the baby duck.

 So beautiful seeing all these geese swimming away in a neat little line.

Book worm.

Growing up i was the biggest book worm. From a very young age i love love loved to read. My parents would often get frustrated with because i would read at the dinner table and they would get more upset when i would stay up really late past my bedtime reading away. Sometimes when i was getting ready for bed and putting on my pjs  i would hide books under my pillow and then later use the little bit of light in the hallway to read in my bed. Sometimes i would tell my mom i had to use the bathroom, would hide a book under my shirt, and then would sit in the bathtub so that i could read when i was supposed to be asleep. For my 5th birthday invitations, i wrote a little request that people would only bring me books as presents. i loved reading, as there was nothing more exciting to me than being whisked away into a completely different imaginary world where anything was possible. I am such a dreamer, and books allowed me to dream away all day long.
Ever since highschool, my love for reading has sort of dwindled away. Being forced to read so many books that i knew i would later be tested on, took away all the pleasure and enjoyment that books symbolized for me. The amount of books i had to read in college left me with absolutely no time to read for pleasure, and i have always hated how my love for reading has gone away.
Now that i have graduated and have no more assigned books to read, i am DETERMINED to re cultivate my love of reading. Before i leave for Israel in 2 weeks i am going to start and finish this book called "Lighting the Western Sky, The Hearst Pilgrimage and the Establishment of the Baha'i Faith in the West" My father recommended it to me, and after reading a few pages i think it would be a great read, especially before i head of to Haifa for my year of service.